I honestly cannot remember the last time I went to a club. One could say that clubs are not my kind of thing. At all, really. This Saturday, however, I got to go to Winter Warpdrive 3 at the Roberts Orpheum Theater in downtown St. Louis, the year’s biggest local rave. A co-worker of mine, who in those circles is known as DJ Ken Evil, provided me a ticket and a VIP pass. I’m not gonna lie to you, the party kicked ass. The place is cool, the DJs were all outstanding, and despite much the scantly clad crowd looking extremely jail-bait-ish (the event was 18 and up), there was energy in that place. I’ve often wondered, how a particular friend of ours could always stay up till dawn at age 39 when I’m often ready to hit the sack minutes after midnight. I’m sure for a lot of people it’s drugs. I saw more than just one person stumbling/dancing around with an eerily vacant expression on their face. Full tank of gas, but no one at the steering wheel. Drugs or not, though, there was a certain energy and even fully sober (minus a few beers) I was up and moving until the lights came on.
At one point during the night a young girl came up to me and my friend, Rae, and said something to her. Then she sort of liquid-danced her way over to me and said (verbatim) “Are you a handsome stranger with a jolly rancher?” I, having no candy in my pockets said “No, sorry.” She made an “awww” face at me and kept on dancing. Aside from really not having any candy on me, I had almost reflexively started saying “no” to almost any question or statement that night. One guy asked me if I wanted something I had never even heard of and kept talking to my shoulder and my back for about 5 minutes, after I declined. After the girl had moved on in her quest for a jolly rancher, I started thinking about what had just happened, and ultimately found myself wishing, that I had asked her to clarify what she meant (Uh, what do you mean by jolly rancher, because I only have starburst). Best I could figure and my friend Rae confirmed it, it was a euphemism (or a rather blatant offer) for oral sex. A quick fact check over at urbandictionary.com only partially confirms my assumption though. Apparently a jolly rancher means either a guy who can stay hard for a very long time, in rap music often used in direct relationship with oral sex, or a cough-suppressant that’s taken in pill form (for the DXM which causes hallucinations much the way an overdose on cough syrup will do). I guess I will never know what she was really after that night.
Jolly Rancher saga update:
I have been informed that it is quite possible that the girl was in fact asking about an actual real sugar-and-artificial-coloring kind of Jolly Rancher. It tuns out that when one is experiencing the effects of the drug Ecstasy, the texture or flavor or whatever of a Jolly Rancher is stimulating in some way.
Picture update due to popular demand:
Judging by my search hits, “Winter Warpdrive 3 pictures” is quite popular at the moment so here you go …
http://www.flickr.com/photos/pshannon/
best pictures of the stage
http://www.flickr.com/photos/unitovone/
http://s128.photobucket.com/albums/p165/allrightname/Winter%20Warpdrive%2016%20FEB%202008/
http://s251.photobucket.com/albums/gg309/bshamalian/
